Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
