Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
