i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
