I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
