whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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