so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
