I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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