would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
