think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
