i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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