it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
