Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
