it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
