i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
