you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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