Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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