I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
