I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
