I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
PANTIES FOUND
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