Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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