i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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