Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I could fuck to npr.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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