RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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