shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
