Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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