Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
