You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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