why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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