I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
