Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
