i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
