I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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