The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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