You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
