Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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