I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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