O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
