Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
