Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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