Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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