He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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