A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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