evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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