If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
