He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
In America we eat man semen.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
