i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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