She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
