Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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