carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how drunk are you?
Several
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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