When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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