tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
