dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
