You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
