Dual....:-)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
