so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
