You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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