evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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