i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
