he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
