I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize