I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
