btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
