can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
