i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I want to be your penis for a week.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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