she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
