love makes seman taste better
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
