turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
