The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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