whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
