Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
