She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
